Dumb Art Jokes – Part 2

From the kinda cheesy to the kinda dirty, I love jokes. That said, here are a few art related ones I recently came across in a quick web search. Mostly cheesy.

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ABOVE: Richard Prince, I Changed My Name, 1988, acrylic and silkscreen on canvas, 56 x 78.5 inches

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Q: What does a momma color wheel say to a baby color wheel?

A: Don’t use that tone with me.

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Q: How does Salvador Dali start his mornings?

A: With a bowl of “Surreal”

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A bumper sticker for artists: “My other car is a bike, too.”

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There was this world famous painter. In the prime of her career, she started losing her eyesight. Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world.

After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored. The painter was so grateful that she decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor’s office.

Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall. When she had finished her work, she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art: the doctor’s office.

During the press conference, one reporter noticed the eye on the wall, and asked the doctor, “What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office, especially that large eye on the wall?”

To this, the eye doctor responded, “I said to myself ‘Thank God I’m not a proctologist.'”

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Went to an M.C. Escher exhibition today. All the best prints were on the second floor but unfortunately I couldn’t get there.

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Q: What do you call an artist with asthma?

A: Van Cough

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Dumb Art Jokes

There aren’t a lot of jokes about art and artists out there, and of the ones you can find, most are pretty cheesy. Here are some I recently found on the internet.

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ABOVE: Marcel Duchamp, L. H. O. O. Q. (She is hot in the arse), 1919, pencil on postcard

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Q: Why did Van Gogh become a painter?

A: Because he didn’t have an ear for music.

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An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

“I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”

“That’s wonderful,” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”
“The guy was your doctor…”

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Q: How many artists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks.

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Q: What did the artist draw before he went to bed?

A: The curtains!

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My mate hung himself in a modern art gallery.
It was three weeks before anyone noticed.

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The art critic is someone who arrives when the battle is over and shoots the wounded.

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Q: What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying blue paint?

A: Both crews were marooned.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a painter with a boxer?

A: Muhammad Dali.